Hard Times

Hard times have hit us big time! People have lost retirements, houses, jobs, and careers. Investments have plummeted and, depending on who you listen to, there is no end in sight.

While many of us will agree that "money isn't everything" and that "you can't take it with you," we would probably agree also that these kinds of financial hits put stress on our lives in other areas.

People get depressed or feel anxious. Sometimes they play the Blame Game. There is a feeling of confusion, not knowing what to do next.

The thing is this: We will all hit hard times in one way or another all along our life path. The trick is to not let it destroy our lives. Here are some thoughts about that:

1) Keep talking. I find that when people can talk with their loved ones about how they are feeling, it creates a climate of openness and support that can help them through it. Also, in a healthy talking relationship, there may be less likelihood of turning to addictions or maladaptive behaviors.

2) Regularly assess what you DO have. It is easy to get so focused on the loss of a job or a pension that we lose sight of what we do have. "I still have my family." or "I still have my faith." or "We still have our love." Remember, that people have weathered things like the Great Depression of the '30s and come out of it with their families still intact. It is a matter of keeping focused on the positives in your life so that you don't lose hope.

3) Keep busy. If you are out of work, make looking for a job your full time job. Volunteer at a community helps agency, the library, or a hospital. Don't allow yourself to just sit around and do nothing. It isn't good for you emotionally or physically.

4) Accept what is. That doesn't mean accept your situation in a way that is unhealthy and leads to depression and hopelessness. Accept that what has happened has happened and that nothing will change that. Instead of staying stuck in the "it's not fair" mode, tell yourself "It is what it is" and move on.

5) To accomplish acceptance (#4 above) it probably will involve some grieving. Allow yourself to go through the stages of grief in a way that will produce a healthy outcome for you. Do you know the stages? If you were going through a job loss or loss of investment money, it might look like this:

• Denial -
  

"I think they made a mistake when they laid me off. They'll probably
call back soon and rehire me."
"The investment guy doesn't have his facts straight. We didn't lose
that much money."

• Anger -

"It is not fair for them to lay me off after all these years. I hope my
boss gets fired too."
"My investment guy is an idiot. This loss is his fault."

• Bargaining -
  

"If only I would have gone to college. They wouldn't have laid me
off."
"I should never have invested in that high risk stock."

• Depression -

"That job was the best one I've ever had, and I'll never find one as
good as that again."
"I'll never be able to make up the money I lost."

• Acceptance -

"That was a good job, but it is gone. I will move on and find another
job."
"I have no control over the stock market. All I can do is the best I
can."

Finally, as I've said in previous posts, it is extremely important to take good care of yourself during hard times. Exercise, eat right, and get good sleep. Without those three things, your body and mind will be depleted and you will not be able to function well or make healthy choices.