Many people see the holidays as kind of a "mixed bag." They will report that it is their favorite time of year, while at the same time saying that they hate the stress and the pressure of the holidays.
My best advice for not just surviving the holidays but enjoying them? Boundaries!
Family Boundaries - You need to decide with your household what you want your holiday to look like. If you currently spend all of your holidays in the car making sure you can get to parents, inlaws, etc. and you feel it is too much, then stop! Decide what you will do, inform family members, and then stick to the plan.
Consider (for example) spending the actual holiday with your side of the family and then celebrating with your spouse's family on the Saturday before the holiday. If not that, then some variation of that.
I have three married children who all have inlaws, of course. and we have to make some of those kinds of adjustments. This year, all of my children will be with inlaws on Thanksgiving and they'll be with us on Saturday. It works just fine.
Money Boundaries - Money is perhaps the biggest stressor at this time of year. Make a decision before you start shopping as to what your budget is this year. Include items in the budget such as gifts, food (i.e. baking or holiday dinners), and special activities (i.e. holiday concerts). Then stick to your budget. Decide up front that credit cards are off limits.
Consider making homemade gifts, or consider giving a service (i.e. washing someone's car once a month) or a time (going for coffee once a month) gift. Don't confuse love with amount spent.
Shorten your gift list. If you are giving some gifts out of obligation, consider cutting that person all together or cutting down the amount you spend on that person. Or consider giving something more personal, such as a picture of your family. Be creative!
Time Boundaries - There are so many possibilities and expectations in terms of activities during the holidays. Take the time to consider all the invitations to parties, concerts, tree-lightings, decorating parties, etc. and realize that you may not be able to make them all. Decide what is reasonable (i.e. "I cannot be out every night during the weekend" or "I can only do one activity per weekend" or "I'll do two activities per week.") Whatever your limit, decide and then stick to it.
Also realize that just because something has always been, doesn't mean it always needs to continue. Life is a series of choices, and some of those choices involve time commitments.
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Decide your boundaries, and then stick to them. You will probably find yourself less stressed and enjoying the holidays more!
